o_saya: (All sweetness (Na'Toth))
2010-06-04 09:38 am
Entry tags:

Body modifications

So, I guess the big news is that I got a second piercing in my left ear. It was a semi-impulsive decision – I've known I was getting one since January of last year, I just never got around to it because I was waiting for a significant date, and the one I really really wanted (February 27, one-year anniversary of getting out of Cooley-Dick) I was living in the Crappy Place and couldn't go out. And I am in the kind of bad state of mind right now where I want to do bad things to my body and mark it up and change it. And I figured, a piercing the lobe of your ear is very low on the scale of dumb things you can do with pointy objects. It was actually quite a lovely experience! The guy who did it was very pleasant, indulged my need to know what was going on at all times, and in the end it hurt less than getting blood drawn. I remember getting my "normal" piercings as being extremely painful, and apparently this is not the result of being a nine-year-old with no pain tolerance, it's partly because the punching gun hurts like the dickens. (He did it with an needle and a cork). In fact, when time comes for me to do the other side (and it is a matter of time, I just want to wait for the appropriate date), I'm going to have no trepidation at all. Oh, and apparently everything Claire's told you to do in the 1990s was wrong. They told one to twist the studs around as often as possible so they wouldn't "grow into" the flesh, and also to rinse them with a special liquid every night. (I remember the liquid mostly getting in my ears and hair :P). The number one thing you're supposed to do is not touch your piercing, because it contaminates it and raises the risk of infection. One can also use special liquid or saline solution, but they're optional. I'm buying saline solution next time I go to CVS, but I'm waiting to do that until my stuff is filled (after going there three times in one day, I'm kind of sick of it).

I got one of the handsome ball-joint rings, which looks good, but rather dwarfed by my big hoops.

I've also had way too much fun messing with my hair lately. It's not an "O noes, I cannot be teh ugliez" type of thing, it's an "Oh hey, I can make it do this!" type of thing. One of the things that plays into this is that I've been very depressed lately, and if I don't feel like getting out of bed, I feel that I'm going to look damn fabulous when I do.

I had a horrible, horrible case of derealization yesterday. Thinking back, it may have been a response to anxiety – I had gotten really upset just before it happened, but it was more sadness and hopelessness than anything else. I nearly didn't make it home – the world was spinning, the ground was uneven under my feet, I kept touching my bare arms and legs because if it wasn't rubbing against something it felt like it wasn't there. And the whole time I was really nervous because this is a town where people call the police if someone's "acting strange", and I'm really scared to go back to the hospital. (When I thought my leg might be infected I didn't go to the doctor's because I had this vision of being forcibly interred for being "a danger to myself", and then not being able to reach my friends because I don't have their numbers... fortunately either it wasn't infected or I fought it off).

In other news, my computer has officially reached piece of crap status. It's having trouble with such complicated actions as, say, having Adium and iTunes open at the same time, typing, and scrolling down on webpages. :/ I was hoping to hold out on getting a new one until I had fulltime student status and could get a discount (which would be in about a year and a half), but that's looking unlikely, or at least very inconvenient. At least it's not crashing and showing me its Darwin Kernel at random points like the last one did.

([personal profile] inkyumbrella, I found you a Sam/Castiel.)
o_saya: (Who am I? (Delenn))
2010-06-02 04:57 am
Entry tags:

It's in the nature of the beast to wonder if there's something missing

Read more... )

I had pretty epic dreams last night about me and Nii-san trying to escape from a country that seemed to be a cross between Communist Russia and the Southwest. Then I woke up prematurely and tried to return to aforesaid dreamland by imagining scenarios where we returned and rescued everyone we cared about.

I have been watching the first season of Supernatural (very very slowly, on Megavideo), and man... I know tons of people hate (hated?) the mytharc, but if it wasn't for the mytharc I probably would have gotten bored after the second episode. Yeah, it's fun, but it's just as often cringe-inducing and... not particularly good, IMO. Most of the fun I'm having is derived from seeing Sam and Dean back at the very beginning. It's interesting in an "Oh boys, you have NO IDEA what's coming up" way, and an "Oh, THAT'S where they came from!" way. Observation 1) they're really setting Sam up as the main character, aren't they? Observation 2) Jesus Christ, Jared Padalecki looks like he's FIFTEEN.

For the record, TV shows sans mytharc or other overarcing story tend to bore me really fast unless they have a high, high entertainment value (see Yes Prime Minister, Leverage), and since the thing that I want to be most fannish about is Babylon 5, the mother of all mytharc shows... yeah. Unfortunately, most of fandom appears to have died out in about 2000. My roommate, our friend and I have been mainlining it like crazy – we finished season 3 in about three weeks. Fortunately, my roommate and I have similar tastes (Narn!) and are both of the Londo/G'Kar persuasion. This morning we had a discussion about Centauri sex positions (with added debate as to exactly how prehensile the penises are) and alien genitalia, this sparked by someone on TVTropes saying that, if you know Drazi biology, the implication that G'Kar is having an affair with the Drazi ambassador's wife becomes disturbing. Upon doing SRS research online, we do not see how this is the case. (IL this household!)
o_saya: (Default)
2010-05-25 06:55 pm

(no subject)

I picked up the current issue of Bitch magazine (one of my favorite things in the 'verse), and there was a rather interesting article about the declining use of the word "lesbian." Basically, they noted that fewer and fewer young people are identifying by it, instead using gay or queer. I had gotten this impression, but wasn't entirely sure – my only exposure to other queer people my age was at a women's college, which obviously skewed things. Unfortunately, it came to conclusions I disagree with – namely, that the use of "gay" is assimilationist/"safe", or that lesbian is considered "unfashionable." Perhaps it's a given that I'll disagree with any article that uses Camille Paglia as its main source of quotations, but anyway. I identified as gay for years, and the choice was semantic: gay is an adjective, lesbian is a noun, and that's not the sum of what I am. Think about it – if you're a guy, you can be gay and [ ]. It's not taken as the total of what you are. If you're a woman, you are a lesbian. It always felt uncomfortably total to me. That said, I went through a brief period of identifying just as queer, but that was for reasons of being sexually uncertain, and I was in the closet the entire time, so I don't think it really counts, but I've been thinking increasingly that I may again. Partly because – I know this is an unpopular opinion in the queer community, but – I believe that sexuality can change over time, and just because I have never been attracted to a male person doesn't mean I will never be attracted to one, and also for political reasons. I want to throw my lot in with the transfolk and the genderqueer folk and the asexuals. Also, saying "queer" is simpler and more inclusive than saying LGBTTQQIAP. I don't agree with the mainstream LGBT movement in a lot of ways, most of which stem from what I perceive to be its sidelining of trans and gender issues, and some of which is just my not being in line with mainstream politics. (Should queer people be able to join the military? I suppose, but I have enough problems with the military/intelligence establishment that I can't in good conscience put my effort towards that). While I think it's great that we've come far enough that support for gay rights doesn't necessarily denote a political ideology, I also think that it's becoming even more important for those of us who aren't and aren't interested in being in the mainstream to be even more vocal.

Uh. SRS BSNS almost over. When I was trying to write an introduction/bio (which I have still failed at – people, what do you think is important to know about somebody?), I realized how much of my life recently has been dominated by health and medical stuff. Heck, I almost made a post about how I'm afraid my poetry classmates all think I'm crazy instead of My Thoughts On Yaoi up there. (For the record, poetry iz not so great, aktually. My classmates and teacher rather suck).

I am, however, in an effort to be less depressed and do more, trying to remember how to get properly involved with fandom. It's been a while! My main fandoms are big, and I'm a johnny-come-lately to them (why hullo thar Supernatural), or they've been dead since the 90s (Babylon 5, my love!). And I don't write fanfiction, make icons, or produce meta. Guys... how does this thing work again? ^^; For what it's worth, I read a lot of fic.

I bought a GED book today. *sighs* Finally decided to stop with my stupid pride-thing and realize that the job market is not friendly to on-medical-leave homeschoolers with no "real" credentials. The only thing that made it okay was looking at the test-prep shelf and going "Next time I'm coming for the GRE manual, bitches." I also keep reminding myself that it doesn't signal the end of my academic career or anything dire like that – Nii-san needed one to get into RISD, and that's hardly a slouch. Over the last few days the area has been awash with happy Class of 2010 graduates and alumni coming for reunion. And I don't begrudge them anything, I just wish that that was... assured for me. And that i could have less issues and be able to just concentrate on getting back to school and doing the best I can. I'm becoming increasingly certain that I'm one of Those People who's plenty smart but never pulls through and does the work. Not on purpose, I just... have this block whereby I freeze up and spend the whole time convinced that I'll never be able to do the assignment until the night before, when I bang something out generally between the hours of two and six AM, which is either a sign of terrible character or even more crazy. I just don't know how to help myself.

But! One of the other things that makes things okay is that I finally found a stuffed Ebola! As a future medical anthropologist, I have been searching for one ever since I found out they made them. One of the things I'm interested in is infectious disease, as well as rural networks of contagion and economically sustainable systems for delivery of care in remote areas. (What can I say, I was influenced by The Hot Zone and Pathologies of Power at an early age). For all my bitching about being behind/out of education, I'm still lucky enough to be at a point when I can imagine doing a lot of things in my life. I know I want to go into medical anthropology (and apparently the daughters of mathematicians dream of growing up to PhDs?), but beyond that – infectious disease? Human rights? Prison-industrial complex? International mental health? TB? Domestic mental health? It's all open.
o_saya: (Default)
2010-05-25 04:06 am


Why, halo thar, DreamWidth!
o_saya: (Default)
2009-06-07 08:11 pm

(no subject)

So, I just saw a fic header for a BSG crossover fic with the pairing Ali/Kara. And the part of me that has seen Lawrence of Arabia five time interpreted that pairing the way one would expect.


I propose that the BSG folks arrive and Starbuck is all "This is Earth? Fuck Earth, it's sandy and the camels spit."
o_saya: (Default)
2009-06-02 02:34 pm
Entry tags:

Meme from Feverbeats

Name your 25 absolutely favorite couples (het/slash/canon/fanon) and ask people to see what trends they notice about your couples. Try to pick different fandoms. [No particular order]

1. Starbuck/Anders (BSG)
2. Faramir/Éowyn (Lord of the Rings)
3. Alison/Rose (Y: the Last Man)
4. Polly/Mal (Discworld)
5. Kara/Leoben (BSG)
6. Shauna/Arkhan (The Second Shift)
7. Karolina/Xavin (Runaways/Marvel universe)
8. Redlance/Nightfall (ElfQuest)
9. Londo/G'Kar (Babylon 5)
10. Ivanova/Marcus (Babylon 5)
11. Wedge/Tycho (Star Wars)
12. Tenten/Temari (Naruto)
13. Roy/Riza (Fullmetal Alchemist)
14. Liberty/Justice
15. Ivanova/Talia (Babylon 5)
16. Tosh/Suzie (Torchwood)
17. Mal/Simon (Firefly)
18. Rukia/Orihime (Bleach)
19. Lawrence/Ali (Lawrence of Arabia)
20. Starbuck/Kat (Battlestar Galactica)
21. Roslin/Adama (Battlestar Galactica)
22. Cally/Seelix (Battlestar Galactica)
23. Seelix/Racetrack (BSG)
24. Moonshade/Nightfall (ElfQuest)
25. Miles/Gregor (Vorkosigan)

See where I started plugging in every BSG femslash pairing I'm fond of? That's because I just don't have 25 OTPs. I like lots of pairings – I read anything if it's well written.